HAPPY FUCKING HALLOWEEN!

I just got back from the ER on Halloween night...And there's not even a cool Halloween adventure story to accompany my injury. No, I was being lame and staying home to work on a lame ass school project, involving a sharp ass knife and balsa wood, when I slipped and tried to amputate my left middle finger. The positive outcome however, resulted in my screaming and spraying blood every where (see the above picture). As a result I have an instant cool Halloween costume and not only did I get blood all over my pants, hands, chair, and table....I also trailed it into the kitchen, so by 10:30pm it looked like there had been a stabbing in my house (only I stabbed myslef...less cool).

P.S. I am now high on perscription Vicoden. Thanks, Doc!

I Come to This Same Conclusion Every Year...

Mostly in the fall because it's around my birthday. I never think I can get much older, yet I am somehow transformed year after year. Sometimes I feel like I've been through a war. I have enough scars. I've seen more horrors than anyone my age that I know. I've also seen the most beautiful things in the world. I've laughed, I've cried, I've held my breath...

I was thinking about the movie, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". In the movie the guy wants to erase memories of his girlfriend so he won't hurt anymore. Sometimes I wish I could do that with my life. Not all of it, of course. And not all the bad, the bad is what makes you a stronger person. Just a select few real-life nightmares. Those are the worst, the things that are so terrible you think you must have dreamed them up, only they really happened, and the flashbacks are unbearable like some incurable terminal illness that feeds on your mind.

For all my other memories I am eternally greatful. I just don't see how much older I can get. Maybe I'll be overwhelmed with so much good this year I'll feel like I can't take anymore or I'll burst. Things like that happen to me at times, certain moments where I get so in love and full of everything I forget to breathe and everything is bliss. I think maybe the two extremes are just what being passionate is about.

Maybe year, after year just means that my passion grows...Because every year I seem to feel more and more. And I love that feeling. The feeling of feeling, more than anything.

I NEED A MONOLOGUE!!!!

I need a monologue....the problem is I SUCK AT ACTING! I want to be in the musical and sing and dance, but not talk. I have a song, but I can't find a monologuye that I won't totally blow at. Suggestions anyone? Help!

I Was in a Halloweeny Mood Today....

I made a "Kitty Litter" cake, which turned out coincidentally delicious.
Ingredients:
1 box German chocolate cake mix
1 box White cake mix
1 box jello vanilla instant pudding
1 box vanilla wafers
2-12 Tootsie rolls (or as many as desired)
Green food coloring
1 small (NEW and UNUSED) Kitty litter box
1 (NEW and UNUSED) Kitty litter scoop.

Bake cakes according to box directions.
Make Jello pudding according to box directions.
Once cakes are cooled and jello is gelled, crumble both cakes into a large mixing bowl with just enough jello to make cake clump together. (Use jello very little jello! I REPEAT, USE VERY LITTLE JELLO! You want the cake to look like cat litter.)
Crush up vanilla afers and add to mix for desired grainy texture.
Add mixture to Kitty litter pan.
Top with crumbled vanilla wafers.
In a seperate bowl crush 1/4cup vanilla wafers and dye green.
Sprinkle green wafers over top of kitty litter pan.
In your microwave, melt as many tootsie rolls as desired (keeping the wrapper on when you do this is recommended)
Shape Tootsie rolls into "cat poo" and put them in litter pan.
Put Scoop into cake and serve.

Sadly, my cake was so convincing nobody wanted to eat it. It was however delicious, they have no clue what they missed.

Today, I also make pumpkin smoothies, spiked apple cider, and I bought my dog a Halloween costume. Holy fuck, I am one of those people! I bought her a hotdog costume. I'm sure there will be pictures. I'm a fucking modern day Martha Stewart...Insider Trading and all.

PORN + KAROKE TONIGHT!!!

I keep thinking that one day my life will be cooler...Then I won't have to pass up invites like that. Maybe after I get a bizillion degrees and a real job, I can let loose and have fun!

Who am I kidding?

My Girl Friend Sent Me This Text Message...

"Wanna come to Athens and have zombie sex? I'll be covered in blood till midnight."

Maybe This is Why I Never Keep Boyfriends Around...

And I quote (myself), "You are like an incurable disease. I just can't get rid of you." I also told him, "You make me feel feelings...It kinda makes me want to run around screaming and go bang my head on walls like Charlie Brown."

Yep. I am so romantic. Swoon world. Go ahead and swoon....

CRAP NUTS!

I am a complete fucktard and I just killed my digi camera!!! Come back camera I <3 YOU!!! I accidentally dropped my computer on it and now the screen is smashed....Which wouldn't really be a problem except that I can't tell if it's on picture mode or not, and I can't clear my memory card and other important things. Sigh! I dyed my hair tonight. Rock N' Roll Red right before I go to see Verdi's "La Traviata". I am classy like that. This week has been insane. I think I'm just Overdosing on family. Between my parents and their friends trying to find me a nice Jewish man, to my dad finding out my real major, and EVERYONE asking me why I don't sing anymore I want to scream! Actually I probably will sometime tomorrow night after running through Centennial Olympic Park's Fountain in full formal opera attire. (pictures coming soon...) For now, here is my really, really red hair:

Make-out Club

Dear Atlanta,
Come to Columbus and make out with me. XXXO.
-Me

There is this Episode of Saved by The Bell...

where Zach and Kely walk in The Max and Kelly is wearing a "friendship" ring Zach gave her. Any time a guy walks up to say "hi" to Kelly, Zach promptly shoves her hand in their face and says, "SEE THE RING!" Then Kelly begins to argue with Zach about how their relationship is just too serious and they are just friends and as they're arguing a girl walks up and says, "Hi Zach!" Kelly then throws her hand in the girl's face and says, "SEE THE RING!"

Today I was in the library and this guy kept talking to me. I quietly slipped on my "wedding" ring and nonchalantly kept waving my left hand around, but I kept hearing Kelly Kapowski's voice in my head yelling, "SEE THE RING!" The guy never got the hint. I need to learn to be more assertive.

My Dog is the best thing in the world EVER!

I forgot yesterday while I was being all mopey and sad that I happen to have waiting for me at home the greatest puppy in the entire universe.
I met Marley when I was working at a kennel. When she was a mere 20lbs. She was a small awkward pony dog with too much skin and an unclear concept of how exactly to work her legs.
She was adorable. And deaf. There is little that is crazier than the task of raising a deaf Great Dane puppy, but I really didn't have much choice they were going to put her to sleep.
Because aside from being deaf, and a Great Dane, she was also a sicky with pneumonia. In other words....She was and is absolutely darling.

Happy New Year!

Today has been the shittest day ever. I have no job, and it looks like I will be going home no time in the near future because I need a job and I will be working on the weekends once I get a job here. Boo! I miss my ATL friends. Hopefully I will get a job as a kennel tech at a Vet office, then all the dysfunctional puppies will cheer me up. Everyone knows there is nothing cuter than a mangey three-legged puppy licking your face. Plus, today is the Jewish new year things will get better soon enough I hope. I just need to quit being such a girl, get a job, and a 3.7 or higher this semester. Ok. My self-motivating speech half worked. I guess half working is better than not working...

I must go to Temple now and get my Jew on! I wish you all a sweet, healthy and happy new year.

Friday Night...

the most frustrating and magnificently magnetic man I know had me make him a nan-gate microchip cake. This is the view from the top. It was complete with diffusions and substrate layers. I am the best girlfriend ever.