THERE ARE NO POLAR BEARS IN MEXICO!!!

Oh yes, that was a pearl of wisdom straight out of my mouth. Faith just explained to me today that I yelled, "THERE ARE NO POLAR BEARS IN MEXICO!" on my Birthday because for some reason we were drinking margaritas in a Mexican place with a life-sized stuffed polar bear. That night was blurry, but I always have friends to rub my dumbass commentary in my face later.

It is So NORMAL Here!

That isn't a bad thing. Actually, I love it. It's like taking a break. I almost feel like my whole life up until now was a dream...almost surreal. Last night was amazing. I was kidnapped by two artists. We sat around and talked for hours. They showed me their art. We listened to music. We shared everything. It's been a very long time since I have met people like that. People that you instantly feel at home with, people that feel like you have known forever, people that excite intrigue, people that command honesty...I wanted to tell them so much more, but instead I was silent and I listened. One day I will tell them. I also wanted to hug them, but instead I waved goodbye. They gave me a book, which I am slooowly studying because it is so new and I take notes as I read. When I got home I sat outside and stared at the sky for a long time. The moon was full and the sky was star studded. I haven't been that happy in a while. I couldn't stop smiling.

This is just the beginning...

Der...

I am quite possibly the dumbest smart person ever. this occured to me today as I was trying to read out loud and clumsily stumbling over words that were more than simple. I mean, I knew what they meant, I just could say them. I am such a jackass sometimes...like right now...

Some Guy Told Me Yesterday....

"I could tell you stories about "Karen" (one of my girlfriends whose name I have changed for our protection) that could make a stripper blush."

I replied with, "I could tell you stories involving me and "Karen" that have made strippers blush, but I'm not gonna."

Happy Birthday to ME.

Yesterday was my birthday. My 21st birthday. I tried with little success to keep it a secret. Damn you, Facebook! Today I need to study, but I have a ginormous hang over. And I smell like booze. Great. I was glad to discover this morning that last night I did not make an ass out of myself. I also didn't get naked, kissed, or sexed, which is completely depressing. On my birthday!!!! I can't remember the last birthday that I didn't make out with someone...or EVERYONE...it happens. Boyfriend and Girlfriends: Please come to Columbus and make out with me, or else I break up with all of you and I will find new Boy and Girl friends here. (yes, that is a threat).

Jobs I Have Considered Include:

1.) Color Namer
2.) Slang Creator
3.) Weather Lady

I can just picture myself in the middle of the next huge hurricane, Rex Adventure reporting live from the field...

Well, Chaz, the sky seems to be an intestine-lining grey, and I have to admit that just like the natives here, I am utterly scardifyed for my life...

I Obviously Don't Get the Inside Joke...

Um, yeeeaaah. Ok.

I am going to Have a Coronary!

That's right, I think my heart is going to explode...or implode...or do some kind of -oding. OMFG, I am in a play! And I'm talking, not singing!!! WTF?!? Don't get me wrong, I am super excited...And also super terrified. Like, people are going to look at me and I will be talking and stuff TERRIFIED! My brain isn't even working correctly right now. I am too amped. Need chill pills, PRONTO!

I am One of Those People...

I can already tell. I am going to be cranky and pouty all next week. I am totally one of those people who is extremely irritable with a lack of sex. Sex? What's that? I don't think I remember sex? Oh, yes. It's been that long. I am like a fucking cat in heat. I keep rolling around on my bed and making these little wimpery noises like I'm in pain...WHICH I AM! I am going to die! It's official. I am going to die. Good Bye Cruel World! All I ever needed was to get laid.

*Yeah, I'm being a bit dramatic. So fucking what? I'm frustrated!

I Have the Itch!

And NO, that's not some STD! EVery few months or so if I have no new tattoos or piercings, I start itching to get a new one. Maybe I'll get a bunch of birthday loot...