And I Quote...

"A hand job is a poorman's blow job." -ZB

While Job Hunting...

I went to this Italian place. It looked fairly nice and seemed like the tips might actually be worthwhile, so I ran in to get an application. Teh guy at the host stand greeted me and I asked him for an application. He rattles around in the stand for a few minutes then pulls out an application. "Sorry, we only have the spanish versions. You can come back by tommorrow if you want." he says. I tell him no, it's okay, I'll just fill out the spanish app. and he starts looking at me like I'm some sort of freak. "You can read spanish?" he asks me while looking quite bewildered. "Um, yeah." I reply. Then I walked out feeling kind of confused about the whole situation. He must have thought I was kidding or trying to sound good or something, although it is utterly beyond me why anyone applying to an Italian restaurant would try to wow their potential bosses by claimg that they knew spanish.

I Just Got a Job at This...

Comedy Club in Columbus that has a bunch of unfunny stand-up comedians. The girl that hired me said, "We are the only comedy club in the SouthEast." What planet is she living on?

I am Moved.

I have no friends yet and my dog isn't allowed inside. I tried to go outside and play with her, but the bugs tried to eat me like I was some kind of warm-blooded buffet, which I suppose theoretically, I am. I don't even know where the comic book store is so I can go try to harrass people and make friends. Boo.

While Sitting on the Couch Friday Afternoon...

I mentioned to a good friend that I wish I carried a cholroform soaked cloth in my purse, so that anytime someone was getting on my nerves I could immeaditly render them unconcious. The previous, prompted my friend to google search the words "Chloroform Porn".

Results = Hilarious

An Effective Solution to Solving the Sadness

of my friends seems to be telling them stories from my childhood. I brought one of them close to tears last night and I didn't even go into detail. Sacasm helps lot... "Oh, I know! You must be sad because of this, this, and this.....no wait...that was me!" You have been warned friends be happy. Or else.

"You're Going to Hell." Literally.

I've heard this statement many times. I've also been called a temptress, the devil, and succubus. However, I have to admit I have no qualms with any of this because the way I figure it.....HELL IS WHERE THE PARTY'S AT! They way I imagine it all the cool people go to hell becuase in most religious scriptures basically everything fun is evil, a sin. Therefore about anyone I would ever want to meet would be in hell. Everyone who got killed for heresy, criminals, rock stars, porn stars, philosophers...the works. I bet there's a constant orgy complete with champagne and the Marquee de Sade. I also bet there is a rollersakting rink and a 24 hour pinball arcade and salsa dancing. Sign me up, Satan!

The Things I Miss most at Night...

1.) Roof Tops
2.) Stars
3.) The Moon
4.) My Best Friend
5.) Driving and Singing Along to music while crying.
6.) Things that are so beautiful your heart pounds and you forget that you've been holding your breath for what seems like forever.
7.) Making Bad Art.
8.) Spending time with someone and wanting them to kiss you more than anything in the world.
9.) My Pain.
10.) Lost Love.