This Shit Just Kills Me:

I was trading pick-up lines with a buddy, so I said:
"Hey baby, does this smell like chloroform to you?"

And He came back with:
"your father must be a thief, because i saw him stealing from wal-mart"

It was so funny I spit the water I was drinking all over my keyboard. Mind you, this is also the friend who has a running bet about whether or not he can get a girl to call him "Gingus Kahn" during sex. I said, "If you're fucking her from behind and yell "MARCO" and she yells, "POLO" back, she's a keeper." We joke like that. Maybe it's funnier because he's Persian. And by Persian...I mean, a terrorist.